W.J. Astore: The 2016 Presidential Candidates in a Word

Continuing our election coverage, I thought I’d try to sum up each major candidate with a single word (excluding profanities). I encourage readers to submit your own words for each candidate in the comments section below.

The Democrats

Clinton: Compromised. No candidate is more beholden to special interests and the establishment than Hillary.

Sanders: Revolutionary. Let’s face it: It would be revolutionary for a Socialist Jew to win the Democratic nomination. And “revolution” is one of Bernie’s favorite words.

O’Malley: Eclipsed. I had to strain to remember his name, and I’ve watched the debates. Simply overshadowed by Hillary and Bernie.

The Republicans

Trump: Bombastic. Trump makes a lot of noise, and my dad always told me “the empty barrel makes the most noise.”

Cruz: Oleaginous. There’s something slippery about Cruz.

Rubio: Callow. An eager beaver, apple-polishing type. Not quite ready for prime time.

Bush: Uncertain. He doesn’t seem to believe the words coming out of his own mouth. This is one reason why Trump calls him “weak,” because The Donald never doubts himself.

Carson: Serene. His calm is perfect for a neurosurgeon, but he’s out of his element on the political stage.

Christie: Angry. He seems to despise both Obama (“feckless weakling”) and Hillary. Like Tony Soprano but without the charm.

Kasich: Grey. A conventional Republican governor, he blends into the background due to the strutting peacocks that surround him.

What do you think, readers? Have at it!

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Copyright 2016 W.J. Astore. First published in The Contrary Perspective.

Politics: Sometimes I just want to do a face plant (Photo: Barbara Neiberg)