It is fall, when thoughts turn
to love and death; the general thinks
of his mother, how she died in the fall
and he planted her walking cane at the grave
and it flowered
Back in 1968 I always felt good
on a baseball field or basketball
court, listening to summer songs
on a transistor radio, head bowed
The kaleidoscope spins shards of shifting glass,
and I emerge wearing this hot pink sweat-
shirt with zippers. Come inside where it’s wet
and I’m alive, fire eyes.
The gray whales are going south: I see their fountains
Rise from black sea: great dark bulks of hot blood
Plowing the deep cold sea to their trysting-place
I say out loud, to give the words
the physical presence they deserve
in the warm bakery with us, this place
we’ve been coming for years now.
I want rescue
but also wonder
what I’ll see
if I stay out to dawn.
Yet a heifer finds a hollow,
penumbra of shade where the cold
couldn’t reach. She forages there
a little while, prospers.
I’ve turned toward dream again, endless steps,
sky without voice, as though the music of birds,
or my mother singing, never happened.
I have met them at close of day
Coming with vivid faces
From counter or desk among grey
Eighteenth-century houses.
How I once cried with the crucified Christ,
how I suffered the agonized night of Gethsemane,
how I waved that palm leaf,
how I felt the betrayal of Judas
and the foreboding of the last supper.
watching her lean forward,
tilted like a bell about to ring,
to shake hands with the man
who always panhandled there
Beneath the light, against your white front door,
the smallest moths, like Chinese fans,
flatten themselves, silver and silver-gilt
over pale yellow, orange, or gray.
Hands clapping, fingers snapping, heels clicking—the dancer in a red trumpet dress swirls in a flow of vitality, stomping the wooden floor to percuss the bargoers’ hearts.
To unlock my Akashic records, I speak my name three times to the psychic, echo the spell that flew Dorothy over the rainbow, farther still, home to sepia Kansas.