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Continuing our election coverage, I thought I’d try to sum up each major candidate with a single word (excluding profanities). I encourage readers to submit your own words for each candidate in the comments section below.
Clinton: Compromised. No candidate is more beholden to special interests and the establishment than Hillary.
Sanders: Revolutionary. Let’s face it: It would be revolutionary for a Socialist Jew to win the Democratic nomination. And “revolution” is one of Bernie’s favorite words.
O’Malley: Eclipsed. I had to strain to remember his name, and I’ve watched the debates. Simply overshadowed by Hillary and Bernie.
Trump: Bombastic. Trump makes a lot of noise, and my dad always told me “the empty barrel makes the most noise.”
Cruz: Oleaginous. There’s something slippery about Cruz.
Rubio: Callow. An eager beaver, apple-polishing type. Not quite ready for prime time.
Bush: Uncertain. He doesn’t seem to believe the words coming out of his own mouth. This is one reason why Trump calls him “weak,” because The Donald never doubts himself.
Carson: Serene. His calm is perfect for a neurosurgeon, but he’s out of his element on the political stage.
Christie: Angry. He seems to despise both Obama (“feckless weakling”) and Hillary. Like Tony Soprano but without the charm.
Kasich: Grey. A conventional Republican governor, he blends into the background due to the strutting peacocks that surround him.
What do you think, readers? Have at it!
Copyright 2016 W.J. Astore. First published in The Contrary Perspective.
Politics: Sometimes I just want to do a face plant (Photo: Barbara Neiberg)