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After thirty years, she knows
he will speak with his mouth full.
He knows her stomach will gurgle
in the silence before they sleep.
He will set the table.
She will water the plants.
He will wash the windows.
She will dust the piano.
After thirty years, she still thrills
when he sits close on the couch
and rests his head on her shoulder,
then sighs aloud and closes his eyes.
She loves when the moment lasts.
In the mornings, he will look at the clouds
and tell her the direction of the wind,
what it means about the storm.
She will walk up to him with open arms
and hold him there, in the middle
of the kitchen. There will be no music.
It may look as if they are standing still,
but it’s part of a long and intricate dance,
a dance they are still learning,
a dance no one else can teach them.
See how they step back, how they spin,
how they step in toward each other again.
~~~~

Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer is a poet, teacher, speaker and writing facilitator who co-hosts the Emerging Form podcast on creative process. Her daily audio series, The Poetic Path, is on the Ritual app. Her poems have appeared on A Prairie Home Companion, PBS News Hour, O Magazine, American Life in Poetry, and Carnegie Hall stage. Her most recent poetry collections are All the Honey and The Unfolding.
Copyright 2024 Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer. From The Unfolding (Wildhouse, 2024).
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Married 36 years, I recognized my husband and me in this tender, clear-sighted tribute. Thank you!
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Thank you, friends, for all the lovely notes! I am smiling so wide reading them …
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**Thank you**Rosemerry, & all who commented so well!
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Thank you, dear Laure-Anne ❤️
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The comments from everyone about the lovely, true poem bring me to tears. Some of grief, some of joy… I guess that’s what love is… Thank you all for sharing, especially Rosemerry.
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Thanks, Eva.
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I so agree with you, Eva…
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Thank you, Eva, thank you ❤️
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I love this poem❤️
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As do I. Thanks, Lisa.
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What a perfect poem. And it’s singing our song.
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yes, it is.
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Thank you for the much-needed lift this love poem gave me!
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Me too!
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Simply lovely. This poem made me appreciate my wife and I’s morning snuggles, a part of the day we treasure, that much more. Love and monogamy are less than popular these days, but these days have also taught us some hard lessons about the trappings popular.
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yes, I agree: a simply lovely poem.
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Oh, as to the poem and its mechanics: I appreciate how the two line stanzas, reminding us readers of the paired lovers, turn at the end into the single line: a sort of one-ness that becomes of their love.
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Thanks, Jim. I hadn’t thought of the visual rhythm of this poem, and how it complements the argument and narrative.
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Monogamy seems a common object of derision or assault these days, so I am reassured to know that what I feel about my relationship with my wife, still way out of my league after 46 years (smarter, gentler, more capable in so many ways), is echoed by feelings expressed in poem and commentary.
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Well-said, Syd. I feel exactly the same way about the poem as a description of my own marriage.
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32 years, now gone for over 14. When was the last dance, when we were still us without the Parkinson’s third party between us? Robbed of the tender evening years, two old lovers tottering off into the sunset. Keep dancing your priceless dance.
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Sorry. I cried. The beauty of the poem caught me.
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Oh, Barbara, my heart goes out to you.
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A poem that touches the heart indeed. Will share it with my wife whom I have married for 40 some years.
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Thank you, John. I’ve shared it with my wife of almost 40 years as well.
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“…a dance they are still learning / a dance no one else can teach them.”
I am constantly in awe of Rosemerry’s capacity to truly see what it means to be alive, to be in relationship, to be. With all our gifts, flaws, inner knowings, and trippings up. The whole that we all are.
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Yes, Rosemerry captures the beauty of the ordinary… What a gift she has.
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Of all the poems I’ve read on Vox, and maybe anywhere else, this is the one that touches me the most tenderly and personally.
Pam and my thirtieth anniversary culminated with our anniversary dinner. For her a slice of cheesecake, as that was all she was capable of eating, her cancer having taken away every other food. It was one of those moments when grief tore at me, but later we heard a guitarist playing a sweet song, and our grief sang with us. This poem sings too. And I will cherish it, as I did sweet Pam.
And this poem is conservative: it helps me conserve so much. And I close my eyes above this screen, and Pam and I eat cheesecake and her memory sways me. Like Rosemerry’s long and intricate dance.
Peace and hope to all the dancers who still light up the darkness.
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Oh my, Jim. What a beautiful comment. Thank you.
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Quite often we lose touch with the simple expressions of devotion and love, but poems like this can help bring us back to Earth, to the joy of our daily encounters, whether friends or lovers. So beautifully written.
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It really is a beautiful poem. Thank you, Marc, for saying so.
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My wife and I first dated in 1980. Given this expanse of time, I can
say this poem gets it exactly right. And in such a lovely way.
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Yes. Oh, yes. The poem gets it right. Eva and I have been together since 1986, so I recognize the dance the poet describes.
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hold him there, in the middle
of the kitchen. There will be no music.
It may look as if they are standing still,
but it’s part of a long and intricate dance,
a dance they are still learning,
vivid scene
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Yes
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The dance I am lucky enough to dance with the love of my life every part of every day and one in which I hope the music never stops. Thank you, Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer for expressing the simple joys of my life so much better than I could ever do. But one question, how did you know I can’t stop speaking with my mouth full? LOL
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Hahahaha. Me too, Mel. I have the perfect partner. Eva is a wonderful person…
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