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Laure-Anne Bosselaar: About My Birthday

When winds whet their edges
on the angles of roofs & the long manes
of rain leave traces on my window,

when the last leaves let go, let go,
have all let go, & it’s almost winter again —
don’t remember my birthday.

Give me another one: let it be in May,
sated, lit — the month my children were born,
but not in November, gray-gorged

like the morning I first gasped, un-
welcomed by my parents. Forty years later
to the day, I closed the casket at last

on my father’s bloated face, his white
mane slicked back — I almost stroked it —
no one with me

at the Antwerp crematory: my mother
too busy dressing up for the funeral reception,
and he had no family. Not a leaf was left

on the old cemetery oaks, even the wind
& rain had nothing to hang onto, so they
slapped the ashes into my face,

& soaked the fur coat my mother forced me
to wear: Do it for me, look like a lady for once.
But no one came to the cemetery, no one

was there to see me, except for the funeral
employees, eager to get it over with: Belgium
was playing Germany at soccer that day.

So let my birthday be in May, with its eager
dawns & long green afternoons, the trees
freckling sidewalks with mellow shades.

Send me a card then, or take me to a sidewalk
café & let’s simply sit there, not talking too much.
That would be plenty. That would be enough.

~~~~

Source: Pixabay

Laure-Anne Bosselaar is a Belgian-American poet, translator, professor, and former poet laureate of Santa Barbara, California. She is the author of four collections of poetry, most recently, Lately (Sungold Editions, 2023) and These Many Rooms (Four Way Books, 2019). Her collection, Small Gods of Grief (BOA Editions), won the 2001 Isabella Gardner Prize for Poetry. A New Hunger, (Ausable Press 2008) was an American Library Association Notable Book in 2008. She is the author of Artémis, a collection of French poems, published in Belgium.

Copyright 2024 Laure-Anne Bosselaar. Originally published in A NEW HUNGER (Ausable, 2007). Included in Vox Populi by permission of the author.


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30 comments on “Laure-Anne Bosselaar: About My Birthday

  1. Ellen Austin-Li
    December 17, 2024
    Ellen Austin-Li's avatar

    I always learn so much about marrying metaphor & imagery to create tone when I read your poems. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Lisa Zimmerman
    December 11, 2024
    Lisa Zimmerman's avatar

    “& rain had nothing to hang onto, so they
    slapped the ashes into my face,

    & soaked the fur coat my mother forced me
    to wear: Do it for me, look like a lady for once.”

    This poem makes me feel deeply sad. It’s so good. My birthday is in May. And yet, many people I love deeply were born in November. There ya go, Laure-Anne! ❤️

    Like

  3. Meg Kearney
    December 9, 2024
    Meg Kearney's avatar

    Oh, I have long adored this heart-breaking poem from Laure-Anne’s A NEW HUNGER. She’s one of our absolute best poets!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. alexisrhonefancher
    December 9, 2024
    alexisrhonefancher's avatar

    Such an exquisite poem! But I would expect no less from you, dear Laure-Anne. Your work is stunning, always. I’m a huge fan!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Christine Rhein
    December 9, 2024
    Christine Rhein's avatar

    Stunning, Laure-Anne. Stunning! I remember this poem from A NEW HUNGER. How wonderful to read it again!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. adrian rice
    December 9, 2024
    Adrian Rice's avatar

    Thanks, Laure-Anne, from a May baby x

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Carlene M Gadapee
    December 9, 2024
    Carlene M Gadapee's avatar

    Another glorious gut-punch of a poem. Wow. I feel that cemetery and the anger at the ridiculous expectations.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. shenandoahbreakdown
    December 9, 2024
    shenandoahbreakdown's avatar

    wow, powerful and beautiful (and plentiful!)

    Liked by 2 people

  9. rhoff1949
    December 9, 2024
    rhoff1949's avatar

    One of my favorites of Laure-Anne’s poems, grief and defiance rumbling under a beautiful surface. Brava!

    Liked by 4 people

  10. Gillian Katz
    December 9, 2024
    Gillian Katz's avatar

    Laure-Anne, I am so glad to see your poems posted on Facebook. Keep them coming. They are great and I am honored to have met you and know you in person and to have worked with you where you edited my poetry.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. rickcam21
    December 9, 2024
    rickcam21's avatar

    good poem 

    Liked by 1 person

  12. John Balaban
    December 9, 2024
    John Balaban's avatar

    Another fine poem by Laure-Anne, my fellow December birthmate.

    Liked by 3 people

  13. Mary B Moore
    December 9, 2024
    Mary B Moore's avatar

    Love the understated ways this lovely poem, presents a rather painful relationship with parents. As a November child myself, I know just what this speaker means about the leafless and the greatness. I especially like what I want to call the humble wish at the end, the modest wish, for comfort and companionship..

    Liked by 3 people

  14. Mary B Moore
    December 9, 2024
    Mary B Moore's avatar

    Love the understated ways this lovely poem, presents a rather painful relationship with parents. As a November child myself, I know just what this speaker means about the leafless and the greatness. I especially like what I want to call the humble wish at the end, the modest wish, for comfort and companionship..

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Mary B Moore
    December 9, 2024
    Mary B Moore's avatar

    Love the understated ways this lovely poem, presents a rather painful relationship with parents. As a November child myself, I know just what this speaker means about the leafless and the greatness. I especially like what I want to call the humble wish at the end, the modest wish, for comfort and companionship..

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Susie Cronin
    December 9, 2024
    Susie Cronin's avatar

    What a powerful poem. “…gray-gorged

    like the morning I first gasped, un-
    welcomed by my parents.” Let’s give this stunning poet her wished-for birthday in May!

    Liked by 4 people

  17. boehmrosemary
    December 9, 2024
    boehmrosemary's avatar

    Laure-Anne, in my book you can do no wrong. But this poem grabbed me in so many ways. I know Antwerp in the winter, I almost stroked my father’s hair, that fur coat (to be a lady for once) my strange longing for a Northern European November with Summer coming here in Peru, and the ‘yes’ that came unbidden with every line. This is just masterful: “[…] even the wind / & rain had nothing to hang onto, so they / slapped the ashes into my face,”

    Liked by 2 people

  18. jmnewsome93c0e5f9cd
    December 9, 2024
    jmnewsome93c0e5f9cd's avatar

    Reading this poem is like opening my eyes on a cruel night, and there’s the Aurora Borealis.

    Thanks for the life you share with us readers, Laure-Anne. And the courage you help us find with your verse and your spirit.

    Liked by 5 people

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