Meg Pokrass: The Original Life of Bob

a. Bob was not height challenged, he was a pretty short guy. b. Bob’s mother called him Robert, which made him feel taller. c. Bob was happy around dogs, they were so unaffected. d. Bob looked very much like a man named Bob, especially on the sand, in flip flops. d. Bob drank a lot of whiskey and said it made him well, not medium well. e. Bob grew a goatee in his twenties, and his mother disliked it. f. Bob had one ex Christie, and he tried not to think about it. g. Bob was a beer lover, met another couple of Bobs once waiting for a port-o-john at an outdoor sporting event. All of the Bobs laughed, while holding their noses. h. One Bob said, I used to be Barbara. Bob thought that was something else. i. Bob might have been short, but he was not afraid of scorpions or spiders, only a bit afraid of other Bobs. j. Bob did not think of his life as one long hotel room caper, he was not a sleazebucket, which was for the best. k. Bob met the sad-looking Christie at a casino in Reno, during his one very short gambling phases. l. Christie noticed Bob. She said she wanted to try him on. m. Christie had nice, friendly breasts. n. Bob sometimes thought of breasts as machines, this might have had something to do with being bottle-fed. o. It is hard to believe in living the American dream anymore andt Bob and Christie, for the brief time they were together, made it look impossible. p. Bob’s ego sometimes got stuck and its nobody’s business where. q. Christie said she’d make him a starburst birthday cake and she did. r. Bob and Christie together, when seen from behind, appeared happy. s. Bob decided that Christie was a bit phony and a few years too old for him. t. Bob wanted to accept the word disenchanted. u. The constant forced merrymaking of coupledom made Bob’s life wretched. v. Christie left. w. Bob was balding, which suited him, he had a round head and a round name. x. Bob was bored and he worried about his mother’s health which is what grown kids were for. y. Bob adopted a few difficult dogs, called himself ‘pack leader’. z. Bob liked his TV dinners and his own space. He liked his mom and his dogs. He liked thinking about how lucky he was, leading the original life of Bob.

Meg Pokrass’s many books include The Dog Seated Next to Me (Pelekenesis, 2019)

Copyright 2020 Meg Pokrass