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Grand Nagus Gint: The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition
The Rules of Acquisition were written by Gint, the first Grand Nagus of the Ferengi people. According to a dream Quark had (which may or may not have been accurate), calling them “rules” was a marketing ploy, as nobody would buy a book entitled “The Suggestions of Acquisition.”
| Number | Rule | Source |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Once you have their money… you never give it back. | “The Nagus” (DS9 episode) |
| 2 | The best deal is the one that brings the most profit. | The 34th Rule (DS9 novel) |
| 2 | Money is everything. | Strange New Worlds 9: “The Last Tree on Ferenginar: A Ferengi Fable From the Future” |
| 3 | Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to. | “The Maquis, Part II” (DS9 episode) |
| 5 | Always exaggerate your estimates. | Cold Fusion (SCE novel) |
| 6 | Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity. | “The Nagus” (DS9 episode) |
| 7 | Keep your ears open. | “In the Hands of the Prophets” (DS9 episode) |
| 8 | Small print leads to large risk. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 9 | Opportunity plus instinct equals profit. | “The Storyteller” (DS9 episode) |
| 10 | Greed is eternal. | “Prophet Motive” (DS9 episode) |
| 13 | Anything worth doing is worth doing for money. | Legends of the Ferengi (DS9 novel) |
| 14 | Sometimes the quickest way to find profits is to let them find you. | Fortune of War (TTN novel) |
| 15 | Dead men close no deals. | Demons of Air and Darkness (DS9 novel) |
| 16 | A deal is a deal… until a better one comes along. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 17 | A contract is a contract is a contract… but only between Ferengi | “Body Parts” (DS9 episode) |
| 18 | A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all. | “Heart of Stone” (DS9 episode) |
| 19 | Satisfaction is not guaranteed. | Legends of the Ferengi (DS9 novel) |
| 20 | He who dives under the table today lives to profit tomorrow. | Ferenginar: Satisfaction is Not Guaranteed (DS9novella) |
| 21 | Never place friendship above profit. | “Rules of Acquisition” (DS9 episode) |
| 22 | A wise man can hear profit in the wind. | “Rules of Acquisition” (DS9 episode) |
| 23 | Nothing is more important than your health… except for your money. | “Acquisition” (ENT episode) |
| 27 | There’s nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman. | Legends of the Ferengi (DS9 novel) |
| 29 | What’s in it for me? | Highest Score (DS9 novel) |
| 30 | “Confidentiality equals profit.” | The Badlands, Part IV (DS9 novel) |
| 31 | Never make fun of a Ferengi’s mother. Insult something he cares about instead. | “The Siege” (DS9 episode), Elite Force II |
| 33 | It never hurts to suck up to the boss. | “Rules of Acquisition” (DS9 episode) |
| 34 | War is good for business. | “Destiny” (DS9 episode); The 34th Rule (DS9 novel) |
| 35 | Peace is good for business. | “Destiny” (DS9 episode); The 34th Rule (DS9 novel) |
| 37 | The early investor reaps the most interest. | ST novella: Reservoir Ferengi |
| 39 | Don’t tell customers more than they need to know. | Ascendance (DS9 novel) |
| 40 | She can touch your lobes but never your latinum. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 41 | Profit is its own reward. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 43 | Feed your greed, but not enough to choke it. | The Buried Age (TNG novel) |
| 44 | Never confuse wisdom with luck. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 45 | Expand or die.*’ | “Acquisition” (ENT episode) |
| 47 | Don’t trust a man wearing a better suit than your own. | “Rivals” (DS9 episode) |
| 48 | The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife. | “Rules of Acquisition” (DS9 episode) |
| 52 | Never ask when you can take. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 53 | Never trust anybody taller than you. | Mission Gamma: Twilight (DS9 novel) |
| 54 | Rate divided by time equals profit. (Also known as “The Velocity of Wealth.”) | Raise the Dawn (Typhon Pact novel) |
| 55 | Take joy from profit, and profit from joy. | Worlds of Deep Space Nine: Bajor: Fragments and Omens (DS9 novel) |
| 57 | Good customers are as rare as latinum—treasure them. | “Armageddon Game” (DS9 episode) |
| 58 | There is no substitute for success. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 59 | Free advice is seldom cheap. | “Rules of Acquisition” (DS9 episode) |
| 60 | Keep your lies consistent. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 62 | The riskier the road, the greater the profit. | “Rules of Acquisition” (DS9 episode) |
| 63 | Work is the best therapy-at least for your employees. | “Over a Torrent Sea” (TTN novel) |
| 65 | Win or lose, there’s always Huyperian beetle snuff. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 66 | Someone’s always got bigger ears. | What Happens Now (Star Trek: The Last Generation #3, TNG comic) |
| 68 | Risk doesn’t always equal reward. | Star Trek Online |
| 69 | Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races. | Balance of Power (TNG novel) |
| 74 | Knowledge equals profit. | “Inside Man” (VOY episode) |
| 75 | Home is where the heart is… but the stars are made of latinum. | “Civil Defense” (DS9 episode) |
| 76 | Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies. | “The Homecoming” (DS9 episode) |
| 77 | If you break it, I’ll charge you for it! | Star Trek Online |
| 79 | Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 82 | The flimsier the product, the higher the price. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 85 | Never let the competition know what you’re thinking. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 87 | Learn the customer’s weaknesses, so that you can better take advantage of him. | Highest Score (DS9 novel) |
| 88 | It ain’t over ’til its over. | Ferenginar: Satisfaction is Not Guaranteed (DS9novella) |
| 88 | Vengeance will cost you everything. | The Poisoned Chalice (DS9 novel) |
| 89 | Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 92 | There are many paths to profit. | Highest Score (DS9 novel) |
| 94 | Females and finances don’t mix. | “Ferengi Love Songs” (DS9 episode) |
| 95 | Expand or die. | “False Profits” (VOY episode) |
| 97 | Enough… is never enough. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 98 | Every man has his price. | “In the Pale Moonlight” (DS9 episode) |
| 98 | If you can’t take it with you, don’t go. | I, Q (DS9 novel) |
| 99 | Trust is the biggest liability of all. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 100 | When it’s good for business, tell the truth. | Ascendance (DS9 novel) |
| 101 | Profit trumps emotion. | The Long Mirage (DS9 novel) |
| 102 | Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever. | “The Jem’Hadar” (DS9 episode) |
| 103 | Sleep can interfere with… | “Rules of Acquisition” (DS9 episode) |
| 104 | Faith moves mountains… of inventory. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 106 | There is no honor in poverty. | Sacraments of Fire (DS9 novel) |
| 108 | Hope doesn’t keep the lights on. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 108 | A woman wearing clothes is like a man without any profits. | |
| 109 | Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack. | “Rivals” (DS9 episode) |
| 110 | Exploitation begins at home. | Star Trek Online |
| 111 | Treat people in your debt like family… exploit them. | “Past Tense, Part I” (DS9 episode) |
| 112 | Never have sex with the boss’ sister. | “Playing God” (DS9 episode) |
| 113 | Always have sex with the boss. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 117 | You can’t free a fish from water. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 121 | Everything is for sale, even friendship. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 123 | Even a blind man can recognize the glow of Latinum. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 125 | You can’t make a deal if you’re dead. | “The Siege of AR-558” (DS9 episode) |
| 135 | Listen to secrets, but never repeat them. | Ascendance (DS9 novel) |
| 139 | Wives serve, brothers inherit. | “Necessary Evil” (DS9 episode) |
| 141 | Only fools pay retail. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 144 | There’s nothing wrong with charity… as long as it winds up in your pocket. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 147 | People love the bartender. | Fearful Symmetry (DS9 novel) |
| 151 | Even when you’re a customer, sell yourself. | The Long Mirage (DS9 novel) |
| 153 | Sell the sizzle, not the steak. | “Deep Space Mine” (DS9 comic) |
| 162 | Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book), DS9 video game: Harbinger |
| 168 | Whisper your way to success. | “Treachery, Faith, and the Great River” (DS9 episode) |
| 177 | Know your enemies… but do business with them always. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 181 | Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 183 | When life hands you ungaberries, make detergent. | Hollow Men (DS9 novel) |
| 184 | A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves. | Balance of Power (TNG novel) |
| 188 | Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit. | Star Trek Online |
| 189 | Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 190 | Hear all, trust nothing. | DS9 episode: “Call to Arms“ |
| 192 | Never cheat a Klingon… unless you’re sure you can get away with it. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 193 | Trouble comes in threes. | Star Trek Online |
| 193 | It’s never too late to fire the staff. | Cathedral (DS9 novel) |
| 194 | It’s always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door. | “Whispers” (DS9 episode) |
| 199 | Location, location, location. | The Soul Key (DS9 novel) |
| 200 | A Ferengi chooses no side but his own | (DS9 novel: Ferenginar: Satisfaction is Not Guaranteed) |
| 202 | The justification for profit is profit. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 203 | New customers are like razor-toothed gree worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back. | DS9 episode: “Little Green Men“ |
| 208 | Sometimes, the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer. | DS9 episode: “Ferengi Love Songs“ |
| 211 | Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don’t hesitate to step on them. | DS9 episode: “Bar Association“ |
| 212 | A good lie is easier to believe than the truth. | Star Trek Online |
| 214 | Never begin a (business) negotiation on an empty stomach. | DS9 episode: “The Maquis, Part I“ |
| 216 | Never gamble with a telepath. | DS9 novel: The Laertian Gamble |
| 217 | You can’t free a fish from water. | DS9 episode: “Past Tense, Part I“ |
| 218 | Always know what you’re buying. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 218 | Sometimes what you get free costs entirely too much. | Baby on Board (DS9 Malibu Comics) |
| 219 | Possession is eleven-tenths of the law! | TNG novel: Balance of Power |
| 223 | Beware the man who doesn’t take time for Oo-mox. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 227 | If that’s what’s written, then that’s what’s written. | Star Trek Online |
| 229 | Latinum lasts longer than lust. | DS9 episode: “Ferengi Love Songs“ |
| 235 | Duck; death is tall. | Mission Gamma: Twilight (DS9 novel) |
| 236 | You can’t buy fate. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 239 | Never be afraid to mislabel a product. | DS9 episode: “Body Parts“ |
| 240 | Time, like latinum, is a highly limited commodity. | Star Trek Online |
| 242 | More is good… all is better. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 243 | Always leave yourself an out. | Sacraments of Fire (DS9 novel) |
| 255 | A wife is luxury… a smart accountant a neccessity. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 257 | When the messenger comes to appropriate your profits, kill the messenger. | False Profits (VOY episode) |
| 261 | A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 263 | Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum. | DS9 episode: “Bar Association“ |
| 266 | When in doubt, lie. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 267 | If you believe it, they believe it. | Taking Wing (DS9 novel) |
| 272 | Always inspect the merchandise before making a deal. | Star Trek Online |
| 280 | If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. | DS9 novel: Ferenginar: Satisfaction is Not Guaranteed) |
| 284 | Deep down, everyone’s a Ferengi. | The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (DS9 reference book) |
| 285 | No good deed ever goes unpunished. | DS9 episode: “The Collaborator“ |
| not given | Always get somebody else to do the lifting. | “N-Vector” (DS9 comic) |
| not given | Never get into anything that you can’t get out of. | “N-Vector” (DS9 comic) |
| not given | A man is only worth the sum of his possessions. | “Acquisition” (ENT episode) |
| not given | An angry man is an enemy, and a satisfied man is an ally. | Antimatter (DS9 novel) |
| not given | The less employees know about the cash flow, the smaller the share they can demand. | Betrayal (DS9 novel) |
| not given | Only a fool passes up a business opportunity. | “Elite Force II“ |
| not given | The more time they take deciding, the more money they will spend. | Stowaways (DS9 novel) |
| not given | A bargain usually isn’t. | The Pet (DS9 novel) |
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Ed. note: In the Age of Trump, it is important for the people of Earth to be familiar with the Ferengi culture, the better to defend ourselves.
Source: Memory Beta
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The Grand Nagus Zek
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