The dirty poet: i’m actually arguing with a robot here at work

the future

i’m actually arguing with a robot here at work

a mobile linen cart rolls up to me and intones

approaching elevator, please stand aside

i’m not moving a single centimeter

for that laundry bucket of bolts

no, YOU stand aside, i say

approaching elevator, please stand aside

no, YOU stand aside

approaching elevator, please stand aside

the future has arrived

 

breakfast special

big news story about two females

a kid serves a mcdonalds meal to a cop

writes black lives matter on the bag

cop’s offended, gets a refund

mcdonalds investigates

we should too — what really happened?

the kid wrote it because she assumes

the cop doesn’t think black lives matter

and needs to have her face shoved in it

meanwhile the cop

who maybe thinks black lives matter

or maybe doesn’t

finds having a stark message

inscribed on her breakfast a little intrusive

happily, the kid showed restraint

what she really wanted to write was

choke on it, pig

all this does wonders for police/minority alliance

 

jeff sessions

i testify unequivocally that i’m a liar and a creep

like everyone else in this administration

i do believe in hate, fear, greed and ignorance

and the stock market’s soaring so fuck all y’all

thank you

 

greed

i worked christmas and the day after

both time-and-a-half days

unless you worked christmas

then the next day wasn’t overtime

that’s ok

i wouldn’t wanna break the “nonprofit”

with my unbridled greed

 

if the company you work for

says tuesday is wednesday

unless you have a union or quit the job

tuesday is wednesday

 

guns for defense

explain it to me

guns for defense

i can see it in the home

(as long as your drunk spouse doesn’t blast you)

uninvited invaders are the enemy

quite deserving of a lead welcome

but on the street i’ve been in tough spots

knife to the throat in a manhattan doorway

whopped from behind on a new jersey street

a gun would have been useless

unless it was in my hand ready for business

but

i’ve been freaked out by scary actors coming for me

when they weren’t; they passed me by

and i was panicked enough to blow them away

for the crime of creeping me out

inappropriate

as all the cell phone feature films

starring cops and black men

demonstrate in nauseous repetition

carrying a piece makes you feel impervious

but explain it to me

when exactly does the gun help?

 

shift work

it ain’t cozy being the proletariat

but you know

nothing else is easy either

 

the election

the patient is a gloating 85 year old coot

glued to FOX as the republicans grill the FBI

on the hillary question

finally got that bitch where we want her, he cackles

you sound like a trump man, i say

handing him an incentive spirometer

hitler would be better than that bitch, he says

man

hillary must have shot his dog or something

 

responsibility

your contribution to the united way

doesn’t do a blessed thing to alleviate god’s wrath

you can vote the christ/gandi ticket

won’t stop a single bomb from dropping

your responsibility to the doomed is to live life

your penance/suffering doesn’t help

if you wanna sing, sing

not singing doesn’t do shit for the syrians

airstrikes and insanity are killing them

either way

half a million dead so far

whether you party or not

so party

because they can’t

and your responsibility to your future

sick, suffering, dying self

is to lay naked in the sunshine

while you can

 

twitter

the purpose of every tweet is world domination

why?

because it seems possible

right, mr. trump?

 

perspective

switching perspective is useful strategically

but it can be devastating to motivation

sometimes it’s more profitable to focus on the task at hand

and leave it at that

dig

comparing the rich fellow whose biggest fiscal problem–

how to diversify and multiply his holding companies

while ducking the government–

with your budgetary pickle of paying the rent

and buying cornflakes for the kids in the same month

might give you a wider perspective on economic reality

but it won’t make you wanna pick up your shovel

to dig that extra ditch

though it might inspire you to swing that shovel

upside the rich fucker’s skull

 

our president

saw a bumper sticker today

HE’S NOT MY PRESIDENT

there’s some wishful thinking

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The dirty poet tapes his poems to only the finest of lamp posts in pittsburgh.

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