A Public Sphere for Poetry, Nature, and Politics
sometimes i hate you. sometimes i hate you and i feel it rising up in my throat spine lips acid a neon shaft of rage through a red needle an erupting cone of visceral teeth sneer n bared back nails and spit. sometimes i want to chew your face. i want to go in at you. with sharpened bones and red red red in my eyes. looking at the playground where tamir rice waz shot down. open carry laws. brown skin and hot hot death sometimes i lay it all out and no breath comes. sometimes. i go into the articles. i read the investigative reports. i lookit the language. i watch the blame roll it self out from under the slate lips n purple skin of some back-room man wit hiz friends on hiz payroll and promises to the pension and the wife. and i hate you. i rage you. i rage yo apathy and yo lack of historical depth i rage yo. cowardice. i rage yo complacency. i rage alla the wayz that yo mini-van family’s safety sighs and sighs and sighs and then goes on about the business of blameless obliviousness. black death=white safety. black death= economic supremacy. black death=american dream=lies=distortion=continued celebration n reward of hipocracy=soul smothering of the soul.i rant.i weep.i rage. and on and on and on. and not even just. renisha. or tamir. or sandra. but for the women of tomorrow. the boys of tomorrow. the girls of tomorrow. the men of tomorrow. i read the transcript of the press conference. and i hate. for. like. 2 seconds and then my back breaking with sobs goes on to how i will make a new thing today.what kind of love will my own hands hold in store for my own precious body. how will i keep my body and my soul undestroyed.not only. to be. strategic n wise with this reality but to be about. a wholeness. the wholeness. the epic dimensional clarity. the first song ever sung.sitting down in the soul. that iz. in the breadth of the wide-wide stars. this was one of the first truths brought to us. you are the stars. you have come alla dis way to shine in upon your own self. this is a matter of physics and magic and _____. (don’t believe them when they start to tell you what iz possible and what iz not.)you will find yourself renewed in 3 simultaneous languages–sift out n through the confusion. become an able dancer. be good wit yo own tears. for your tears too. they are stars. each and everyone of them haz been wept for millenia. your tears are your people. they come on medicine. they come on song. they come on grace.they are your grace. taste them. in my grandmother’s, grandmother’s day, they would have what they called, public weepings. they’d weep around the tree after the uncle’s body wd be cut down. my people are louisiana. by way of kongo people. my people forgave the tree. and held it. for the tree had to carry the body. and the tree did not ask for that.but the tree knew about the deep listening and listing off of the breath. my people. know about the tears. and the tree. and the hate. and the press conferences. and the transcripts.and the stars. and the future. the way that a tear. can make a future. the way that the tears come from rivers and on those rivers there are boats. and how you kin put a _____ in one of those boats. and it will go on. it will go on away. here iz to the washing. here iz to the holy. here iz to the boy and hiz body long buried. here iz to trayvon. here iz to Sandra. (that waz my mama’s name too.) here iz to_____. here iz to_______. here iz to_______.here iz to________.here iz to________. here iz to ________. here iz to________. here iz to _________. here iz to________. here iz to_______. here iz to _________. here iz to_______. here iz to_______. here iz to________. here iz to _________. here iz to ________________. here iz to ________________ here iz to__________. here iz to ________. here iz to___________ here iz to_________. here iz to____________. here iz to____________. here iz to____________. here iz to___________. here iz to______. and. and. and. and. and. and.and.and.and.and.and.and.and.and.and.and.and.and.and. we lift you. up.
Copyright 2016 Vanessa German.