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Joshua Dubois: What the President secretly did at Sandy Hook Elementary School
Below is an excerpt from The President’s Devotional by Joshua Dubois, the former head of the White House Office of Faith-Based and Neighborhood Partnerships. He’s recounting events that occurred Sunday, December 16, 2012 — two days after the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, when 20-year-old Adam Lanza fatally shot 20 children and 6 adult staff members. Dubois had gotten word the day before that the President wanted to meet with the families of the victims:
I left early to help the advance team—the hardworking folks who handle logistics for every event—set things up, and I arrived at the local high school where the meetings and memorial service would take place. We prepared seven or eight classrooms for the families of the slain children and teachers, two or three families to a classroom, placing water and tissues and snacks in each one. Honestly, we didn’t know how to prepare; it was the best we could think of.
The families came in and gathered together, room by room. Many struggled to offer a weak smile when we whispered, “The president will be here soon.” A few were visibly angry—so understandable that it barely needs to be said—and were looking for someone, anyone, to blame. Mostly they sat in silence.
I went downstairs to greet President Obama when he arrived, and I provided an overview of the situation. “Two families per classroom . . . The first is . . . and their child was . . . The second is . . . and their child was . . . We’ll tell you the rest as you go.”
The president took a deep breath and steeled himself, and went into the first classroom. And what happened next I’ll never forget.
Person after person received an engulfing hug from our commander in chief. He’d say, “Tell me about your son. . . . Tell me about your daughter,” and then hold pictures of the lost beloved as their parents described favorite foods, television shows, and the sound of their laughter. For the younger siblings of those who had passed away—many of them two, three, or four years old, too young to understand it all—the president would grab them and toss them, laughing, up into the air, and then hand them a box of White House M&M’s, which were always kept close at hand. In each room, I saw his eyes water, but he did not break.
And then the entire scene would repeat—for hours. Over and over and over again, through well over a hundred relatives of the fallen, each one equally broken, wrecked by the loss. After each classroom, we would go back into those fluorescent hallways and walk through the names of the coming families, and then the president would dive back in, like a soldier returning to a tour of duty in a worthy but wearing war. We spent what felt like a lifetime in those classrooms, and every single person received the same tender treatment. The same hugs. The same looks, directly in their eyes. The same sincere offer of support and prayer.
The staff did the preparation work, but the comfort and healing were all on President Obama. I remember worrying about the toll it was taking on him. And of course, even a president’s comfort was woefully inadequate for these families in the face of this particularly unspeakable loss. But it became some small measure of love, on a weekend when evil reigned.
—
From The President’s Devotional. Copyright 2013 Joshua Dubois.
Children waiting outside the school after the shooting. [photo: Michelle McLoughlin]
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Very sorrowful yet beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I’m not surprised at all by the compassion President Obama shared with the families as he is a sincere and caring person.
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Thank you, President Barack Obama! You are such an incredibly fine man, and our country was truly blessed to call you our President. I thank you for giving your best and for reaching out to each of these families of Sandy Hook who lost their loved ones with compassion, empathy and love. You surely walk in the shoes of the great Fisherman!!! I know He smiles upon you and blesses you and us. With love and gratitude, Caroline Fowler
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Nothing less than what we came to expect from our president, such a compassionate man of integrity. Oh, how I miss him!
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God bless you president Obama!
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The recounting of a tragic moment in American history confirmed what we already know about our caring President Obama the way he gently and carefully counsels all the families. Thank you President Obama for showing everyone what is important when tragedy strikes.
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I just finished reading the story about what our president did and I have to say that had to be so difficult to hold it together under such circumstances. Touched my heart to think how generous and deeply caring this man is and we as Americans had a golden opportunity at our finger tips to let this man show us the way human beings should be treated. He truly was meant to be a leader.
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Who wrote this, the Russians? If Facebook can shut down a simple statement I logged in January, why is this allowed to be posted?
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Please try to be more caring. It’s not the first time i’ve Seen this rendition of Obama’s actions. It’s posted to give comfort to our nation when our present president, suffering from a severe empathy shortage, doesn’t have the ability to do so.
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Except our current president is willing to make some changes. Hugs and warm fuzzies are great. We need better background checks and more accessible mental health care. We need someone to be accountable for ignoring the warnings coming in about this most recent shooter.
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Except that our current president, on February 28, 2017, signed a repeal of an Obama-era rule which would have given the National Instant Criminal Background Check System, which is used for gun sales, access to information which could have prevented thousands of people with mental illness from purchasing firearms. Furthermore, his latest budget slashes funding to Medicaid, the major source of public funding for mental health care.
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This is what a true leader does, true love, suport and sympathy. Too bad the current holder of the office can only fail at any attempt at showing compassion, sympathy or thoughts of anyone other than himself!
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This is what a true leader does, true love, suport and sympathy. Too bad the current holder of the office can only fail at any attempt at showing compassion, sympathy or thoughts of anyone other than himself!
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President Obama was a true leader. His eloquence and integrity is what the American people need and deserve. When I look at President Obama I feel pride and respect. It takes a special person to put himself in someone elses shoes and feel their deepest pain. He didn’t have to meet with the families. But true to the man he presented to the country. He was and continues to be an honorable man. Thank you Mr. President. You are truly missed!
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President Obama is tremendously talented in being humble and human. He is sincerely compassionate. He is trustworthy and kind. He shares his intelligence, but it is never a barrier to others.
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How I miss Obama. He is a man I was so proud to call our President. Reading this brings tears.
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He was a great leader, and is a truly good man! He could have done so much more for this nation, had he been allowed! We can never expect anything close to his dignity, empathy, sorrow and love from our current resident if the Oval Office!
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I miss this man.. truly a great man. Not perfect but no one is. Kind. Compassionate. Genuine. Intelligent. Eloquent….I miss this man.
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Now that was a TRUE PRESIDENT!!!! A LOYAL COMPASSIONATE YET STRONG LEADER!!! A HUMAN!!! A REAL MAN OF THE PEOPLE FOR THE PEOPLE FOR THE LEAST ONES THE DEFENSELESS TO THE STRONG!!! Oh how Wr MISSSSS PRESIDENT OBAMA!!!
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Barrack Obam is hands_down tryly compassionate…God Bless his endeavors whatever they may be
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What the families of Sandy Hook needed, a President that validated, personally, their pain . What a wonderful man, who understands humanity and is so full of love that it flows over to others. God, I miss him!.
What have we citizens done or are remiss in, to deserve a president, egotist, uncaring, emotionally stunted like we have now?
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We miss President Obama each and every day! He has such love and grace!! He deserved the title President and was a great representative/ambassador of our country! With the current resident in the White House, we are an embarrassment. I cannot understand why his supporters still support him! Is it because he acts like a complete racist, mysoginistic, self-serving loser and they can relate? We miss the Obamas so very much!!!
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Truly a presidential President!!!
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Thank you for sharing this. I can’t even imagine what it must have been like.
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He is greatly missed and loved.
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This Is One Of MANY things I remember about what a GREAT president does! This is ONE of MANY great things President Barack Obama did during his presidency! I’ve Yet To See ONE SINGLE thing this IDIOT imposter has done! He needs to be removed b4 more telling damage is done to our flailing America!
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It isn’t just about being a good president, it’s about being a good person. You can’t fale your character, it’s your shadow and it never lies for you.
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I liked your story and yes I can see the President handling the family’s with compassion. The one thing you missed ( and everyone does). The killer also killed this mother ( which no one ever mentions). And her son had a mental illness, and stoked her guns which where all legally bought and registered. Instead of pushing Sandy Hook got gun control, it should help push for better mental illness treatment. Just a thought!!
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No, Donald, that is NOT the takeaway from this wholly avoidable tragedy. The child murderer did murder his mother too but she was no victim. His mother, I won’t even mention either of their names, his mother KNEW he had serious mental problems and she CHOSE to ignore them while at the same time intentionally TEACHING HER KNOWN MENTALLY ILL SON HOW TO SHOOT ALL OF THOSE WEAPONS SHE COLLECTED.
His mother is just as much a child murderer as he was. And better mental health care won’t help. It’s the GUNS, Donald. The GUNS are the problem because, as we know from SO MANY examples – you so-called “law-abiding citizens” can become murdering nutcases in the blink of an eye. Any of us can, That’s the human condition. The idea is, don’t give weapons of mass murder to humans who don’t have the capacity to handle them or their own mental state.
But you gun junkies would rather feed your own illness than protect children from nutcases like yourself with weapons that were never meant to be in civilian hands.
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Actually she was in a long process of trying to get him help but since he was an adult she had to go through the court system and it was stalled there when the murders happened.
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Yes, parents whose children commit crimes with guns they provided should be tried as accomplices.
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Speaking of mental health care…
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Yes, the assault weapon ban we had back then was deeply flawed. The assault weapon ban we need now is one that would have STOPPED the sandy hook shooting. His mom should never have been able to possess the weapon he used.
The assault weapon ban we need now is a complete ban. Not one with loopholes.
Furthermore, as many Americans are killed in cities each year with handguns as those who die in mass shootings with assault rifles. Canada essentially bans handguns, and they do not have this gun violence. We need a handgun ban as well.
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Bullets aren’t mentally ill, they just kill people and blow apart small children. Mental illness is not THIS problem. Mental health treatment is a whole can of worms unto itself. Guns made for to kill humans effectively and efficiently and their larger caliber bullets are the problem. It’s why the military uses them: best kill rate. Unless you are in a war zone you don’t t need an assault weapon. Hunting is not “assaulting”. The “I use it for hunting” argument is bogus. Period. You buy this gun to kill someone, brag, fill some sad little hole or jerk off to as you dream you’re some hero that swoops in and saves the day. I have guns. I don’t need an assault weapon for my locker. No one does.
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Or… some people just like to target shoot at paper targets. It’s like owning a muscle car. Nobody needs to drive 200mph. The thousands of people who own these guns aren’t mentally unstable. They are just regular people. And no…i don’t own one and don’t want to. But demonizing a whole segment of society because you personally understand why someone not intending to ever cause harm would went one is ridiculous.
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this isn’t a one-dimensional problem so one-dimensional solutions (talking mental health points..hey Trump made it easier for them to get guns) isn’t going to do it, it just won’t. Any survivalist knows that when in a survival crisis the worst thing to do…is nothing. Doing nothing about assault weapons availability is equal to doing nothing about any addiction that is adversely affecting our society. nothing bad will happen to our society if such murderous weapons are banned but allowing our school kids to be killed just so some folks can possess these weapons is unconscionable, its uncivilized and it smacks of just another form of addiction.
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The former president had that gift of empathy, sympathy, and being the ‘Comforter-in-Chief.’
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Reblogged this on From Sandy Knob and commented:
Touching.
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I was there when twenty-one Vietnamese village children were mistakenly machine gunned by our own choppers. Thirty-five years passed before I could tell their story without choking off in mid sentence. Some things you have to experience first hand before you could hope to explain them to others. Choose among fight, flee, or flow when the unspeakable strikes. Working with children through the years has helped me to make a bad thing better–my hopes are that the parents of Sandy Hook will find the same salvation.
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It was and is the darkest of days. I did not know any of those kids but I pray for them and their families. I don’t know how or where they got this inner strength. God keep them close.
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It was and still is a horrific day. Every year on the anniversary I just cant breathe. Now my grandson is in 1st grade and the same age as those children. His school is like a prison to my eyes. He doesn’t even know there was a time when there were no security officers in schools, when there were not two sets of bulletproof doors and a camera monitoring doors. It just breaks my heart. And he attends an affluent public school. No one is immune and that’s what makes it so scary.
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I breaks my heart hearing your a pain. Please know, even though we have never met, on the anniversary of Sandy Hook, I’ll be saying a prayer for you.
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That’s right these people think 45 can do no wrong but we know President obama will do his best to make things as right as it is possible. He is not perfect but I’ll bet you’ll not find any better on earth
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In tears as I read this. I wept for the memory of what happened to those Precious babies. I wept for the parents and family members who had to see the children for the last time. Remembering how Parents are tirelessly keeping up the fight against the gun manufacturers & lobbyists. Maybe soon we can have some compassion and be moved to common sense gun laws. For the sake of all children. Thank you to President Obama also.
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to Brenda corona. why would you try to spoil something so respectful and kind as the former president did. I was never an Obama fan and I am not a trump fan either. but if trump or his wife made such a gesture, I would never try to denigrate it by inserting such insulting comments and negativity. I can not call you a moron because that would be giving you a compliment you do not deserve.
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Joanna was the best President ever. .his wife was just as awsome. I’d give anything to have them return. May God Bless him and his family on there jouney. They shall be forever missed.
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Obummer is not who you think he is!!! He’s still trying to tear this country apart !!! He needs to just go away!!!
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Your comment is so useless without detail; it comes across as ignorant or uninformed. Please respond with why you feel this way; it would be helpful in understanding your point!
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Forget you
Useless is what we have now
Trymo cannot hold a candlecto President Obama
Esp for empathy and cimpassion
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Unbelievable. Can’t stand the idea that a very good, decent man is being honored for his decency? Perhaps you cannot recognize honor or decency. Look inward for where the tearing apart is being created.
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Forget the decency that he showed with each tragedy vs Trump using them to promote himself.
President Obama was a successful poresident who brought this country back from the worst recession in UIS history among other things:
Brought country back off the precipice of a depression and from the worst recession in US history handed to him by Bush. he formed a 65 country coalition against ISIS getting many top ppl and pushing them back Paris climate accord Iran deal (which is successful if you look at legit sources and not lies of GOP who would prefer we stay in more danger if the benefit has Obamas name on it. Much more. You follow Trumps Hitler mantra make the lie big make it simple s=keep repeating and they will believe and you and your cohorts have fallen for it hook line and sinker why trump says loves the poorly educated https://video.search.yahoo.com/search/video?fr=mcafee&p=trump+i+loved+the+uneducated#id=2&vid=a8125a7c06b642e55700c56681ddfa77&action=click
This isnt the age for your trash talk but very Trumpian of you but even though its usually not worth the effort I thght I would supply you with some facts as opposed to the hitlertrumplies you have accepted wholeheartedly
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You’re a dick and cleaely a Trumpette! President Obama has never try to do anything but unite this country and he STILL IS! THE BIG ORANGE CLOWN has divided the USA lime it’s never been done before. His days are numberes and the US will be able to recover from this Presidency lie they recoveres from World Wars!!!
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Tactical means are used to achieve strategic ends. Sun Tzu in “The Art of War” said “Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat.” Trump is all tactics and no strategy. And history always, eventually, repeats itself.
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Brenda caronna- we r not holding our breath waiting for u to respond with something. because we know u will not & we sadly know the reason.
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I am sad for you and your hatred. May you never face the garbage you dish out with such disrespect and lack of empathy. You are woefully uninformed. The weasels in there now will rob you blind and your grandchildren will blame your ignorance.
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smart very, very smart.
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Can you imagine our current horrible president conducting himself with so much empathy and compassion? He’d probably go home and tweet about the size of the crowd.
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You are a prime example of the ignorance you so love in your supreme leader. We admire what President Obama did because as people who have empathy and sympathy for others we recognize when someone does the right thing during a sad and difficult time. It’s a shame you don’t have the understanding to recognize sincerity anymore.
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What a sad angry person you must be Brenda Caronna
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What did President Trump do during a disaster? He pitched rolls of paper towels to the survivors.
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Just thinking of that terrible time brings tears, May GOD bless them all. And thanks to GOD that we experienced such a decent, kind and caring man as President.
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Thank you for sharing the kindness, compassion, and honest side of our former President . May God continue to bless him.
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Not only a great leader but a brave, caring, compassionate person.
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What more is there to say?
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This was more,than a President ..this was a man…a father
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Did not make it through first paragraph sans tears because I could feel the President’s empathy for the losses suffered. Don’t you know he had to steel
himself, because he made himself try to walk in the parents’ and siblings’ shoes.
That is what leaders do, they lead from your position, so they can feel what their decisions impact. Oh, but could we turn back the hands of time.
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As a commander in chief should do. These things are suppose to be taught to us in childhood, empathy, remorse, dignity and kindness. But some are not, they are taught ignorance, arrogance, apathy, condescending, and impudence. Which leads to atrociousness in behavior.
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its for the parents to teach social behavior………not the school system…….
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There’s always one in the crowd. Obama served as President with dignity, respect, and love. Three qualities that are lost in that very same house today
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Agreed, Bonnie!!
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It’s impossible for a narcissist to feel this empathy for others; he’s thinking only of himself not others.
Obama is a caring man and empathizes with others. There’s basically no comparison between the two. Trump isn’t on the same level as Obama emotionally, academically, or intellectually.and never will be.
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Somebody had to trash Trump eh?
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I am not surprised President Obama is a smart kind and caring man. I do miss him now more than ever . And for the families who lost their beloved I’m so very sorry for the loss I hope I will never feel. God bless
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So much style and class I respect the man he did handle our White Houss presidential
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Mesmerizing. The Command in of compassion.
The real.
Thank you for this.
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I’d give ANYTHING to have Obama back in the W.H., Barack OR Michele!
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You mean Michael Obummer? No way!
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you’re a moron Brenda, go back to your Klan meeting.
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You know what it says about a person’s intellect when they’re always doing the childish name calling thing? No… I doubt you’re smart enough to understand.
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So negative; so angry…..where does that get you?
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Brenda, Your hatred will eat you alive. Have you even researched anything that you are so hateful about or do you just spew your hatre and run. You never did answer the question for proof of your statement in the last thread of comments. My guess is that you don’t have any. You are the proverbial troll; hit and run. You’re a chicken.
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Your postings are beyond the pale, Ms. Caronna. Please begin to think through issues before you bark out with such simplistic and caustic remarks.
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I’d give ANYTHING to have Obama back, Barack OR Michele!
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What a pathetic response to an act of Love and Compassion.
You will, one day, regret your words.
Not now, not next year, but at that hour when you make your final confession. God have mercy on you.
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Yes, may God have mercy on you for your stupidity. Your blind devotion looks eery similar to those who worshipped some false idols in the past..
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Peter, don’t bother to respond. This sad excuse for a person will never, ever understand.
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