Vox Populi
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Joshua Dubois: What the President secretly did at Sandy Hook Elementary School
Below is an excerpt from The President’s Devotional by Joshua Dubois, the former head of the White House Office of Faith-Based and Neighborhood Partnerships. He’s recounting events that occurred Sunday, December 16, 2012 — two days after the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, when 20-year-old Adam Lanza fatally shot 20 children and 6 adult staff members. Dubois had gotten word the day before that the President wanted to meet with the families of the victims:
I left early to help the advance team—the hardworking folks who handle logistics for every event—set things up, and I arrived at the local high school where the meetings and memorial service would take place. We prepared seven or eight classrooms for the families of the slain children and teachers, two or three families to a classroom, placing water and tissues and snacks in each one. Honestly, we didn’t know how to prepare; it was the best we could think of.
The families came in and gathered together, room by room. Many struggled to offer a weak smile when we whispered, “The president will be here soon.” A few were visibly angry—so understandable that it barely needs to be said—and were looking for someone, anyone, to blame. Mostly they sat in silence.
I went downstairs to greet President Obama when he arrived, and I provided an overview of the situation. “Two families per classroom . . . The first is . . . and their child was . . . The second is . . . and their child was . . . We’ll tell you the rest as you go.”
The president took a deep breath and steeled himself, and went into the first classroom. And what happened next I’ll never forget.
Person after person received an engulfing hug from our commander in chief. He’d say, “Tell me about your son. . . . Tell me about your daughter,” and then hold pictures of the lost beloved as their parents described favorite foods, television shows, and the sound of their laughter. For the younger siblings of those who had passed away—many of them two, three, or four years old, too young to understand it all—the president would grab them and toss them, laughing, up into the air, and then hand them a box of White House M&M’s, which were always kept close at hand. In each room, I saw his eyes water, but he did not break.
And then the entire scene would repeat—for hours. Over and over and over again, through well over a hundred relatives of the fallen, each one equally broken, wrecked by the loss. After each classroom, we would go back into those fluorescent hallways and walk through the names of the coming families, and then the president would dive back in, like a soldier returning to a tour of duty in a worthy but wearing war. We spent what felt like a lifetime in those classrooms, and every single person received the same tender treatment. The same hugs. The same looks, directly in their eyes. The same sincere offer of support and prayer.
The staff did the preparation work, but the comfort and healing were all on President Obama. I remember worrying about the toll it was taking on him. And of course, even a president’s comfort was woefully inadequate for these families in the face of this particularly unspeakable loss. But it became some small measure of love, on a weekend when evil reigned.
—
From The President’s Devotional. Copyright 2013 Joshua Dubois.
Children waiting outside the school after the shooting. [photo: Michelle McLoughlin]
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We sure Gona miss u me. President but I no you’ll b out there working for us Americans in one way or another God bless
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God bless President Obama.
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God bless the President who has restored the dignity, eloquence, courage, and intelligence to the office of POTUS.
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Can you even envision Donald Trump doing this? I can’t. He doesn’t have a self-less” bone in his body. If the situation is not about him, he wouldn’t even bother to offer condolences.
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You don’t know that for sure.Do you personally know Mr.Trump? If you don’t then you have no solid knowledge of what he would or would not do in a similar situation..You should be ashamed of yourself for using this wonderful post to spread your hate.
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Steve T, you’re in for a rude awakening.
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Trump already has when he met with the families of the Ohio State terror attack. Didn’t see Obama there because the attacker didn’t use a “GUN”. All I know is a Pres that “wouldn’t” respond to such a tragedy as Sandy Hook under his watch could never live it down. So lets get off the Obama ” what a good guy he is ” syndrome. If the bass of his party knew even half the damage he and his ilk has cost this country in so many ways they would truly be astonished. Obama is “NOT” a friend of America and he is not alone. We need to all just do our own homework and stop taking the words of our “favorite” new stations. We may all be manipulated. Just saying –
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Is there a way you would have liked Pres Obama to respond to these families differently than he did?
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Gonna miss you 😢
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God help us. Whatever possessed enough people to become mesmerized enough by Donald Trump to actually vote for him and rally around such a foolish character is what we need deliverance from if not the pending Russian American annex made possible by Trump himself as he sells out our homeland for his throne and imperial Russian title. Sick. May Trump rot in hell.
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Mesmerized I dont think is the right word or description. A true non racisr would not, or could not vote for a racist period. They can deny it, or justify their reasons for voting for Trump, claiming they are not racist, but as I said above, those are facts, not an opinion. So am I calling all Trump supporters racist. In a nutshell, no pun intended. As for this article. President Obama has never once shown hatred, even when he was faced with a racist, negative, whiny Congress who did everything to vote down or block anything he put in front of them. And not because they were bad ideas. The GOP never did anything or came up with any ideas that would benefit this nation as a whole. They spent the last 8 years throwing tantrums, disgracing our Commander in Chief and our country. Many of them committing felonies by sending a letter to Iran and all of them should of had charges brought up on them and made to resign. People have been fooled by Trump because they have chosen to be fooled. They let hate and fear guide them, and do it all in the name of God. I myself am getting sick and tired of these so called Christians, misrepresenting my God. Their behavior towards people who are different than them is not Christian like what so ever. God is loving and he created us all, and until they can show me where in the bible it says only white gun toting Republican Americans are going to Heaven, or are the chosen ones. They need to stop using God to further their agenda of racism,discrimination, and hate. Jesus was from the Middle East. And President Obama was a true leader who never lost his Grace, Humor, and Class, even while being faced with such negativity from the opposing side. Trump is going to destroy this nation and take us all down with him. May God help us all.
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I had a dream this morning in which I had a close encounter with President Obama, and had a chance to thank him, as a Canadian, for being such a kind and caring president. I’m so sad for all the hate that has been directed his way during his term in office, and I look forward to seeing what he will do as an ex-President. He will be sorely missed, both at home and abroad.
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Your compassion, empathy and love will be missed.
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Beautiful in such a sad situation
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Thank you seems so inadequate. You, Mr. Obama, have touched the hearts and souls of many as you stood for what is good and right in the face of unbridled hate and bigotry. Even as I type this tears roll down my cheeks. It would be hard enough to lose such leadership even in the best or times, but when the person that follows you seems determined to destroy America so he may enrich himself, his children, and those that already have millions of dollars, it has become unbearable. A deep sadness filled my soul on the evening of November 8th and with each nonpresidential tweet, and appointment of those that would destroy American to line their own pockets, the sadness grows. I fear all hope is gone. You will be missed. Please do not go too far. We still need you to hold a light of hope in this darkest of times. Gloria
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President Obama is our most tender caring, loving president. We will remember him for his wisdom, strength and kindness. We know we cannot replace him. Lord help us in the coming four years.
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Thank you Mr President for having a heart of compassion and your gift of kindness. Thank you for trying to make this country and world a better place.
I apologize for the grief and ignorance you have had to endure by some Americans.
To Mrs Obama, thank you for supporting your husband. You have served our country with beauty and grace. You set the stage for future First Ladies to follow. I pray they follow your example of how to be a lady in the true sense of the word.
God bless you and your family.
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President Obama’s compassion and respect for his fellow human beings, I believe, shines through in many horrific events we have faced during his 8 yrs in office. Thank you for sharing this story with the world. I thank him for his service to our country and wish him all the best in the coming years and other phases of life. He will leave the nation’s nest and become an empty nester all at once. Transition is always difficult. But he has consistently been up to all challenges. God Speed! We will miss you and your entire family.
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Thank you President Obama. You’re amazing.
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Thank you, President Obama, for the dignity and grace you and your family brought to America! We will surely miss the kindness, thoughtful reflections, compassion, determination, and let’s not forget the humor, you’ve exhibited in all your years of office. Dangku’lu na si Yu”os ma’ase!
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Thank you for caring and giving comfort. There are those who would only give a speech in front of cameras.
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I don’t believe one word of that.
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Wow…. how sad Kookie that you can’t see what a kind and compassionate man President Obama is. Your loss.
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Sad. Very sad. You sound like you will be happier with Trump. Mr. Dog and Pony Show. Sincerely hope you never need comfort from him.
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I understand your disbelief. President Obama is a Black man, after all, and the kind of human emotions described above are not attributable by those whose racism is all encompassing in their lives and they always have to prove their Superiority at someone else’s expense. How sad for you that you have so dehumanized yourself that you are beyond seeing the humanity in others. To attempt to diminish Barack Obama, especially after the kind of president he has been, means you will be right at home if Mr. Trump – the casino operator and his wife – the soft porn model – become the next people to become President and Mrs. with frequent visits to and from Vladimir Putin. That is probably much more your style.
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You have said exactly what I think and can not verbalize. Thank you so much. Well said
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It was indeed, a noble, compassionate act. Two points I have to bring up 1) why you had to throw a race card into this this conversation baffles me. 2) There are many stories of compassion among all people, Presidential or other, but you cannot say with any integrity that President-elect Trump would not have a ted the same way. There are instances where he has helped many people while staying out of the spotlight. He was the only candidate or National figure to help the people of Louisiana after the recent floods. When an airline refused to accommodate a gravely ill child and the family last year, he sent his private jet to help them travel. There are others as well, besides Trump that have gone above and beyond without accolades. Please spare me the drive for sainthood for Obama, because the divisiveness and polarization of his tenure is surely nothing to be proud of.
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“The race card” may not have an explicit place here, but race has been a component of every moment of every day of this presidency. It could not be avoided. There are people who have not seen a “president” in 8 years. All they’ve seen is a “black man” in the White House, or in the privacy of their own homes, a “nigger.” They have questioned his every move, every word he’s spoken, far more than just partisanship could account for.
The habit of blaming Obama for racial divisiveness is a lazy one, and mostly inaccurate. His presence alone brought race to the fore in a way that had never been the case. Liberal whites (like myself) had long patted ourselves on the back and even said we lived here n a post racial world. We conquered racism! Woo hop! We have black artists, black scientists, black business leaders, blacks and whites sitting side by side in the best universities. Hell, we’ve go Oprah! But a black man to the White House, a black president, emboldened ordinary black folks to say, “hey, white folks. Don’t think it’s all over. We still have a hell of a lot of problems here, and now is a good time to take a look at them….”
The opened dialogue between blacks and whites has been a good thing. Just pretending racism is there doesn’t mean it isn’t there. Let’s talk about it. Accusing people of simply “playing the race card” every time they mention race is just a means of shutting them up.
Consider this: when was the last time you heard anyone get worked up and accuse someone of playing the “Visigoth card”? Been a while, huh? Those who descended from Visogoths and those who descended from Romans no longer have a grudge against one another. No one could put the “Visigoth card” in play because no one would pick it up. Likewise, if those who are so offended by “the race card” would just ignore it and move on, it would cease to be an issue. But they can’t ignore it, because it speaks to a real issue, racism. We get past racism (if possible), then the language for a no longer existent phenomenon will become stale and dry. Empty. Meaningless.
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How pathetic you are Kookie. I feel sorry for you.
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but i bet you believe every lie that comes out of trump’s mouth
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Then you and Donald will probably get on well together. So sorry for your lack of insight.
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Hmm. Your name seems to describe you perfectly😳😬
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There’s another Russian hacker (Kookie) so we were being attacked then
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Kookie, are you a Russia communist hacker
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While it was wonderful for President Obama to vist Sandy Hook, I really wished that you had not posted this. These were private moments where each family member felt the President offered them a personal condolence. Publication that the same visit was repeated over and over again could diminish the intent and the importance of these meetings. The President knew what he did. The families knew what he did. And that is all that is needed. And that is all that is important. Many of us may not agree with his politics, but we, too, know he is a kind man.
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How uplifting all these testimonials are! Indeed, history will glorify President Obama. Here was a compassionate leader! When come another?
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Character and competence…. for this day in particular, and for the eight years he was elected for one of the most important jobs in the world. I am proud to have become a citizen during Obama’s Presidency. I am grateful for his grace and presence to the families who lost children and family members on that awful December day. God bless you Mr. President and thank you and your family for your sacrifices and example.
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Thank you, President Obama. I wish that this had been made public as I Presided over a 501-c-3 not for profit organization that would have supported you fully at that time.
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So many thoughts and comments here express what most Americans feel…better said than I. If only we could look the same forward to the incoming president.
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President Obama came to Tucson, Arizona when Gabby Giffords and others were shot. He spoke to at least 10,000 people in the stadium. There will likely not be another President in my lifetime who has the Leadership, compassion, judgment, and care that President Obama displays day-after-day-after-day for 8 years and counting. A brilliant Leader who will be missed.
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It is HEAVEN when there is an ENLIGHTENED Leader.
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In my 59 years of living, no president I have watched and listened to has come close to comparing with our President Barack Obama. He is one of a kind with his respectful and kind behavior, his insight and calm demeanor even in times of sadness and danger, his warmth and caring thoughtfulness and respect for all Americans — and his devotion to his family. He is a true leader. A role model for our young people and our adults, as well. Just a downright perfect human being. Thank you, President Obama for your service and constant care of our nation and the peoples of the world. You will always be my favorite president and history will show you to be one, if not the most popular American president in history. My God bless you, Michelle and the girls now and forever.
Thank you.
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Very well said
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I think the President is awesome. I have and always will back him. I think he’s a little before his time. A bit futuristic and I believe that’s why some people don’t get him. I do. I volunteered for his election during his first run. I wasn’t working at the time and I was proud to do so. I also wrote him one time. The good and the bad. I don’t believe he read it but I received a letter from the Whitehouse and that was cool. God Bless he and his family on their next endeavor. Joanne Trapp.
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You are a class act Mr. President and will be missed.
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Mr. President, you and your family are full of grace. Thank you all for your sacrifices for our country.
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Thank you President Obama and your beautiful family for bringing grace and integrity to our country for the past 8 years. Made me proud to be an American. Blessings and good fortune to you as you go forward.
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Dear President Obama, Our country has been blessed to have had your grace, wisdom and compassion leading our nation. I am so proud of and grateful for you and your family, representing the very best of America.
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Mr. President,
Your daughters will learn the world regards you as a great president and world leader.
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Mr. President, There are no words to describe what this must have meant to these families. Your genuine caring, compassion, and grace will be sorely missed. From the bottom of my heart I thank you.
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I am 73 years old, yet I look up to you as you have demonstrated to me and to many what it is to be American. And to be true to one another in deed, and thoughtful compassion, with love and kindness to all. Especially to those who don’t look like us, or practice a different faith or religion. You are a role model to even me, who is old enough to be your mom. Peace and blessings of the season. May you and your family know joy and share in the laughter and love we have for one another.
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There are no words to convey my heartfelt sympathy for all the grace in the sadness you have had to endure for our Country! May God be with you and your Ohana,always, Linda Will miss you all dearly and hope to get to Oahu soon! My home, have kids and grandkids there, that i can not afford to live anymore! Prayers for all of your futures!!
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Thank you for your service President Obama.
You will serve as an example of what character and competence is needed for the office and what we will not have following you.
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Dear Mr President, Thank you for your service, your grace and unwavering patriotism. You are truly going to be missed.
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Thank you Mr.Obama for the respect and caring for the families and the younger brothers and sisters of the kids that were killed..WE WILL MISS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY SO MUCH IN THIS COUNTRY OF SO MUCH HATE…..MAY GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU AND YOUR FAMILY SAFE IN HIS ARMS…..AMEN AMEN……..PEACE
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God bless you President Obama. I will always remember you sir with a warm heart and a loving smile on my face.
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Complete class and caring, as usual. Praying for you and your family th be granted health and peace, knowing that you left our country better than when you entered. God bless you.
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Bless you, President Obama.
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You have been our president for 8 years. In all that time we have seen you and your family carry the weight of so much undeserved hatred. Yet, you have been a mantle of grace, strength and integrity. My family and I will deeply miss you. You have been an inspiration to us. Thank you for your service and for your kindness.
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To ask about their children … these families were blessed. Thank you, Mr. President for your compassion and thank you for sharing.
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Grace and dignity in an impossible situation. For those who might decry “guns! guns!” it would be better for them to decry our failed criminal (in)justice system, and to demand disclosure about pharmaceutical interaction with every single mass murderer in the last 25 years.
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Thank You for sharing.
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We have been so blessed to have both the Obamas and Bidens to represent us in times of great tragedy showing such grace. I will truly miss these two families.
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That’s our president!! Sandy Hook parents & loved ones, we stand beside you, we offer our love & support!! We pledge to try to make sure this never ever happens again!!
Jane & Chris Walden 😢💕✌🏼️
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Thank you Obama. I know you will be remembered as the most well loved president of all time. You and Michelle and the girls have shown the world the grace, dignity and integrity of a truly extraordinary American family. There are no words that can express how much we are going to miss you
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Time will tell whether his successor will show the same level of compassion. President Obama has earned the respect of many.
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Sorry to correct Reverend, he has EARNED the respect of everyone but gotten it only from many
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Trump hasn’t yet served a single day in office. How can he possibly have earned respect for some he has yet to do?
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Jerry I think Fritz meant Obama….. I had to reread it too. I think he meant Obama has earned the respect but not been given that respect by everyone. I hope my interpretation is correct. I’ll admit I stopped for a second too. Have a great weekend.
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Yes. I may have misunderstood. Thx. J
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I have always appreciated the compassion this president has, under pressure, anytime.
He truly cares about out people and our country.
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May the incoming president have the courage humility and fortitude to act in a similar manner.
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You are kidding, right?
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One can hope!
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Sadly, that will never happen..I cry for America
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thank you President Obama. how we will miss you. Alice
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