Vox Populi
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Alfred Corn: Unforeseen Tragic Scenario
The new corporate Gookill HQ in Silicon Valley was hailed at its completion as a stunning testament to advanced technology’s vital link to business and a triumph of steel and glass box architecture. Finally, though, its design people decided that something curved, actually, something spherical, was needed for the exterior. A dozen smooth concrete spheres, each weighing 600 kilos, were securely stationed to the plaza pavement out front, and the argument was made that, apart from their visual cool and the suggestion of global dominance, they would serve as a protective barrier against any berserk vehicle trying to crash into the building. Everyone applauded how they looked. Unfortunately, when this morning’s Richter scale 8 earthquake began to rumble, all the officers happened to be on coffee break on the ground floor, discussing the gonzo (and lucrative) success of their AI strategic warfare programs. So they bolted outside to avoid possible collapse of the HQ in case it pancaked on top of them. But the staples holding the spheres in place outside had snapped, whereupon a dozen concrete globes began careering wildly around the plaza, each following its own erratic orbit. The heavy balls thundered back and forth and collided with the execs, bowling them over like ninepins. Also, it appears that when Gookill contacted their corporate insurer, they were told that their policy did not cover “acts of God” like earthquakes or floods, so no compensation would be forthcoming. A complete account of the event and several obits will appear in tomorrow’s newspaper. Meanwhile, this is your evening news anchor signing off. Thank you all for tuning in.
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Copyright 2025 Alfred Corn.
Alfred Corn is an esteemed American poet and essayist who has received many honors including an Award in Literature from the Academy of Arts and Letters, a Guggenheim Fellowship, and a Fellowship of the Academy of American Poets. The Returns: Collected Poems by Alfred Corn is available from Press 53.
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Ha! The earth has spoken.
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I am laughing. Can’t help it. It’s truly funny (however tragic the whole thing may be).
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It is funny. Also tragic and weird and true.
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In the cushy San Diego suburb of La Jolla, there is an overpriced mall with balls like the ones in the photo that block paths in the underground, dimly lit parking garage. After taking my daughter-in-law to lunch after my first meeting to discuss options with my oncologist, I fell over one and broke my foot. That was when I first realized there is something evil about them and they are out to get us.
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The evil balls of the Empire!!!!
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Nope. It would cost me too much to hod on to the anger.
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That was in answer to comment about suing
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OMG, that’s awful. I hope you sued.
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What a stunning mixture of humor and terror. And like all exceptional dystopian writing, it feels all too close to our current reality.
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I agree, Kathryn. All too close.
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It’s my first go at gallows humor.
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A stunning debut!
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Thanks. That’s what I was trying for.
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oh Dear Lord, we were warned but ignored. THE APOCALYPSE is us. And this Alfred Corn piece is HG Wells on steroids:((
Well done, Sir Corn.
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Needed that!
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Jean: Hey Joe, you know those big balls they have at Gookill?
Joe: Yup, I hear AI controls them.
Jean: Well, the big balls bolted.
Joe: AI will have an excuse, it always does. Er, Probably says it’s too hard to get a grip on big balls; but feed it the approved data and AI will prove that human ninepins can’t withstand the wisdom of a techno-god’s rolling power surge.
Jean: I think AI underestimates the gravity of the situation here, Joe.
Joe: All I can say is Gookill will have to let Big Balls go.
Jean: I remember from my Scrabble days, when AI was a three-toed sloth, not scoring very many points. But now?
The End. Selah
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Hahahahah!!!!
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😂
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Hahahahaha!
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