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Staying Fit
The sea slug chops off its own head,
then grows a brand-new body,
thus getting one that’s buff instead
of one that’s sick and shoddy,
.
A trick that’s neat in many ways,
yet who would choose to try it?
I’d much prefer to spend my days
in exercise and diet.
—
.
Cow Cuddling
.
Adorabull and Moonicorn
(who has a single eye and horn)
are two among the gentle crew
who – for a price – will lie with you.
.
“They’re just like happy pills,” and yes,
those who have lain with them profess
the joy they give, and consolation,
amid the rampant devastation
.
We all have suffered from. Let’s praise
these selfless beasts who lend our days
such comfort! They are warm and wise,
and when we gaze deep in their eyes
.
We feel a bond that makes us sad
to think of all those steaks we’ve had,
or worse, how we’ll enjoy the bunch
of hamburgers we’ll have for lunch.
—
The Fury and the Sound
.
Joey Chestnut wins the Crown.
Wolfs those hot dogs. Keeps them down.
Good for him! Long may he scarf!
I can’t watch though. I would barf.
.
Soaks the buns, which makes them slide.
How can there be room inside?
What will happen when they pass?
OMG! The groans. The gas.
.
Spare me thoughts of what’s in store
Once that crowd has ceased to roar.
Once there’s quiet, and his gut
Screams, Hey Joey, What is what?
.
I’ve been faithful. I’ve been true.
What, Man, have I done to you?
.
What if, with one giant cramp,
Joey’s gut does in the Champ?
.
Copyright 2022 Bruce Bennet. These poems, which are responses to articles in the New York Times were first published in Light Poetry Magazine‘s “Poems of the Week.”
ahhh some fun, some chuckles!
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Yes, I’ve always enjoyed light verse… Ogden Nash, Shel Silverstein…
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:=D
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