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Bruce Bennett: “Cow Cuddling” and other poems for your delight and amusement

Staying Fit

The sea slug chops off its own head,

then grows a brand-new body,

thus getting one that’s buff instead

of one that’s sick and shoddy,


A trick that’s neat in many ways,

yet who would choose to try it?

I’d much prefer to spend my days

in exercise and diet.


Cow Cuddling


Adorabull and Moonicorn

(who has a single eye and horn)

are two among the gentle crew

who – for a price – will lie with you.


“They’re just like happy pills,” and yes,

those who have lain with them profess

the joy they give, and consolation,

amid the rampant devastation


We all have suffered from. Let’s praise

these selfless beasts who lend our days

such comfort! They are warm and wise,

and when we gaze deep in their eyes


We feel a bond that makes us sad

to think of all those steaks we’ve had,

or worse, how we’ll enjoy the bunch

of hamburgers we’ll have for lunch.

 The Fury and the Sound 


Joey Chestnut wins the Crown.

Wolfs those hot dogs. Keeps them down.

Good for him! Long may he scarf!

I can’t watch though. I would barf.


Soaks the buns, which makes them slide.

How can there be room inside?

What will happen when they pass?

OMG! The groans. The gas.


Spare me thoughts of what’s in store

Once that crowd has ceased to roar.

Once there’s quiet, and his gut

Screams, Hey Joey, What is what?


I’ve been faithful. I’ve been true.

What, Man, have I done to you?


What if, with one giant cramp,

Joey’s gut does in the Champ?


Copyright 2022 Bruce Bennet. These poems, which are responses to articles in the New York Times were first published in Light Poetry Magazine‘s “Poems of the Week.”

A cow ready for cuddling

3 comments on “Bruce Bennett: “Cow Cuddling” and other poems for your delight and amusement

  1. loranneke
    August 20, 2022

    ahhh some fun, some chuckles!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Rose Mary Boehm
    August 20, 2022


    Liked by 1 person

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This entry was posted on August 20, 2022 by in Health and Nutrition, Humor and Satire, Poetry and tagged , , .

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