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Sometimes I feel the presence of the dead, only to convince myself later it was merely a shadow moving on the far wall of my desire to see beyond the curtain between here and there as if loss were merely a matter of waiting in a room for the return of love, a chance to undo or unsay, but no amount of time will bring back those we’ve lost because they never abandoned us. We abandoned them by staying alive. If I were to die my father said preparing his will and I wanted to say but didn’t, there’s no if about it. The only certainty is that life doesn’t last. We have a string of moments and move on. When my daughter stands in front of me, a grown woman concerned about my health, I remember the child and my hand on her forehead feeling the fever, a necessary excess of will spilling into the world, and I remember her diving into the deep end of the pool in a game of Gator, swimming along the bottom well below the bigger boys who tried to catch her, part of the game continued even now. And when my son lifts a giant wooden beam over his head and holds it while the other carpenters secure the ends, the householder stands with her arms crossed, eyes wide, momentarily awed by the magnificent strength of this one man. And every one… my daughter caring for patients in a small Botswana hospital, my son rehabbing houses after rehabbing himself, their mother designing a playground in unceded Mi’kmaq land, the carpenters, the householder, the woman laboring in a narrow bed, even the child swinging high in the air her shoes tied by love and pointed toward heaven will soon die and be forgotten. And then it’s dawn. Unexpected light comes through the window with graceful possibility. The distinct nothingness of my life suddenly seems glorious, a particle of dust dancing in the light beside eight billion others while outside, a boy glides by on a bicycle delivering the important stories of the day.
Michael Simms is the founding editor of Vox Populi. His latest collection of poems is American Ash (Ragged Sky, 2020)
Copyright 2021 Michael Simms
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very good. very very good. sentiments all fathers have. near the end perhaps. or just every morning. I turn 70 tomorrow.
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Thank you!
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I love this. Beautiful, and gives voice to my own experiences as well.
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Thank you, Allison!
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You have this amazing ability of being so gentle and so stunning, so poignant and so understated, all at the same time.
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Thanks, John. You’ve been reading my poems for a very long time, so I appreciate your insight.
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I so enjoyed the gentle bluntness of this poem, straight talk without a club, full of wonder and acceptance, devoid of complaint.
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Thank you so much, Diana!
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and then it’s dawn: lovely. thank you michael. with a son in recovery/ after a long winding road at princeton getting his masters in architecture, what personally struck me: rehabbing houses after rehabbing himself. onward, all of us. take care
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Thanks, Abby. Yes, I feel like the country has gone into rehab after a long drunken binge of racism, corruption and fascism. Biden has a tremendous set of challenges ahead of him, so we need to support his efforts as best we can. Journalists and editors have a special responsibility to the public to spread the truth and counter lies.
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“The distinct nothingness” of our time here –what an irreducible Zen paradox, and how luscious it is, lit up from inside your own life. Thank you, Michael. I’d much prefer to spend an hour curled up with your poetry than to squander it on “the important stories of the day!”
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What a lovely thing to say, Louise, and especially significant coming from a gifted poet like yourself.
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Michael,
“Dust” exemplifies the power of poetry, where the very personal expands into the universal. Touching, revealing.
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Thank you, William — very generous of you to say.
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Stunning images: the one about the son lifting the wood is great
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Thank you, Vincent!
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Why do I continue to be amazed at life, at death, at dancing particles of dust, at the brief gold in the morning between the clouds, at children, at grandchildren, at life, at death?
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Beautifully said, Barbara. Thank you!
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This is a deeply moving poem Michael. The back and forth in time, the movement among family, really captures how I feel about life, death, love.
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Thank you, Valerie!
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Dear Michael, Those are special dreams when we get to see our loved ones. I haven’t had one of those in a while, but I always write them down. Beautiful. Thanks for sharing.
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Thank you, Kim!
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her shoes tied by love…
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A very beautiful poem, Michael. Goes right to the heart of the human condition.
All the best to you and Eva,
Dan
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Thank you, Dan! And the best to you and your family as well!
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Thank you, Michael. You continue to deliver the importance of words in a virtual and visual world hungry for more than the eye typically sees.
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Thank you, Charles!
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That was everything this morning.
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Thank you, Beth!
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I love this poem. Among other things it brings memories to me of things I did as a carpenter, without fear or hesitation 40 years ago. Where did that person go?
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Yes, I know what you mean. Thanks for sharing this thought.
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Thank you for this beautiful poem, Michael. I am without words this morning. Maybe that’s why I am so grateful that, when you wrote this poem, you were not without them. It seems miraculous that they reach me through a dark dawn when I so need them. I’m grateful for Vox Populi too. Peace be with you and your beloveds.
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Namaste, Maddie… I’m glad that the poem helped you.
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