I started to plan without any foreboding
Just order some food–how hard could it be?
But Megan was vegan and Ali was halal,
Denise was on Atkins and Roger carb-loading,
Sue ate only salad and drank only no-cal;
and soon I was up the proverbial tree.
.
I quickly developed an immature urge
to kick and to sulk, for Nick was allerg-
ic, and Jennifer kosher, and Paul mac-
robiotic, and Lynn ate no yeast
because of a fungus.
Johanna preferred California cuisine
and Alan avoided salt, fat, and caffeine.
There wasn’t an omnivore among us.
.
Some couldn’t eat ham and some wouldn’t eat lamb;
some couldn’t eat sugar, some couldn’t eat seeds.
So what could I order for our office feast?
And how could I cater for everyone’s needs?
It’s simply delightful that we’re so diverse–
it’s really a blessing, so why do I curse?
Copyright 2019 Arlene Weiner
Arlene Weiner’s latest collection of poems is City Bird (Ragged Sky, 2018)